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Astorian Courting Traditions
__TOC__ Longer than recorded history Astorians have had traditions and standards when attempting to woo their potential significant other, while the eras have changed, the ways in which one attempts to court another hasn’t much. Most differences in courting stem from the religions in each of the three kingdoms as joining is often seen as the end goal of courting. Courting in the Sun Kingdom Usually joinings are used as a way to gain power or social standing for two families, and as such the planning of joinings are arranged by both sets of parents. Planning out the courtship also requires the blessing of the children’s grandparents if they are alive, if given their blessing the parents can start making arrangements. The first born child is always planned to join with another family before any other siblings, whereas subsequent siblings are less likely to be planned for. A child needs to be a minimum of 4 years old before being eligible to be planned for, and a minimum of 6 years old to be joined. Planning a courtship entails arranging what is exchanged once the two are joined, pledging loyalty to both families and organising bonding feasts. Bonding feasts were times where both families would eat together to honour the future of the couple, games and entertainment were also included during these feasts to encourage general cooperation between the two families. These feasts could be planned for multiple times within the span of a year, however it was common to organise at least two times per year. Aside from bonding feasts either of the couple are allowed to enter each other’s homes at any time but are not permitted to sleep in the same house until they are joined. For those who are not planned for, courting is usually more difficult. Should an individual want to initial a courtship they will require the blessing of the rest of their own family including their older sibling(s) before even attempting to ask the person they wish to court. This means that if their feels are not reciprocated by their potential significant other, they would have to start the process all over again should they wish to court someone else. After receiving their family’s blessing they may ask their potential significant other if they would be interested in them, usually this comes as a verbal request but can be expressed through a card or letter. If they say that they are interested and they have their own family’s blessing, then courting has officially begun. With both planned and unplanned courtship the couples are expected to wear wristbands or necklace with the name of their significant other to show that they are currently courting these accessories are usually referred to as courting tokens. Taking off or not wearing the courting tokens while in public is usually frowned upon as it implies unfaithfulness to their significant other. Regarding breaking up, only unplanned courtships are allowed to break off a relationship, although it is often frowned upon. Breaking up involves exchanging courting tokens and announcing it to their own families, while usually giving an explanation as to why. Courting in the Earth Kingdom While joinings in the Earth Kingdom have similar values to the Sun Kingdom in that they can be seen as an opportunity to improve social standing, they are also a celebration of dedication and this is reflected in how courting is traditionally done. Should an individual be interested in another person for any reason they may ask to court them, and should they both agree then courting may officially begin. During this time they may spend large amounts of time together, so they can adjust to each other and assess compatibility. However more importantly they both need to impress their partners parents, this can be in the form of doing tasks asked of them by the parents, gift giving, etc. Should both sets of parents be impressed enough they may give their blessing to get joined and become part of their family with open arms, although a family blessing isn’t essential to get joined it is preferred. Areas where one may find a potential partner can be anywhere, but workplace relationships are a common method, as well as at festivals or other social events. A couple can court for as long as they wish before joining, although usually 2 years is a common threshold. To show that one is in a courtship a silver ring as a courting token is placed on both partner’s ring finger which acts as a symbol of potential future. Note that the ring itself does not need to be actual silver, but a similar colour to act as an opposite to a gold joining ring. The ring itself is always bare and simplistic, elaborate rings are saved for joinings. In regards to breaking up a simple verbal statement is most common along with the removal of the courting token. The ring can be kept or sold should either of them want. Courting in the Moon Kingdom Joinings within the Moon Kingdom value harmony between two people above all else, although love also plays an important part. Usually if someone is interested in courting another person they may send them a scented letter as a romantic gesture, although a verbal request is also appropriate. This period is often referred to as wooing, during this time their potential significant other does not have to say yes straight away as usually the person pursuing needs to prove they are worth being considered to court, if the potential significant other says they are not interested then it is respectful to stop pursuing them. Should wooing be successful then their potential significant other will send a black feather to their pursuer, often in a black envelope. As a symbol of their courtship both of the couple wear a black feather on their person, usually from the same bird, while in public, or something representing a black feather like a broach as a courting token. While courting the couple may go on camping trips together, in some instances with other couples. In regards to breaking up a letter is often sent to express their feelings and reasoning for breaking up, this is often referred to as the blue letter. Blue letters act as the last straw where the reactions from either side may make or break their relationship. If the blue letter is unaddressed or the relationship is generally unsalvageable a final letter or verbal statement is used to confirm the break up and they will dispose of their old black feathers. Category:Tradition